I don’t know. It is just, I don’t know.”
“You’re really not eating it?”
“No.” He didn’t say.
“I’m hungry.” She asked.
“And you can have the food I’ve gotten you.” He said.
She was shocked. He had been there, with her in the bathroom. But she was a different woman. The food was gone. “Well,” she said “you’ll have to talk to me. You can’t just sit here talking.”
His face went through a kind of shock. He had been there.
There was a long pause. Finally he nodded.
When you’re eating, you have to use your hands so as to feel how it’s going to behave. Then you use your feet, then your hands. You try to work with the sensations.
“I will,” he said.
She got up and opened the refrigerator door after him. The door closed; her hand slipped down the door knob. He went back to the table and began working the ingredients.
He started by stirring the egg whites. The smell was intoxicating. She tasted, as usual, something new. It was the smell of fresh eggs. She had never tasted fresh eggs before, and there wasn’t much else to taste. She took a sip of the hot egg yolks, but the taste was like burning. Then she took one look at him and said, “Is there something wrong?”
He was puzzled. He didn’t know what to say. “Well?”
“I don’t know. I feel I am being treated unfairly.”
It was a matter that was at best abstract. But a moment later he was on the point of swallowing the last of the yolk. She poured herself another drink and then the first. Then she went to the window and started watching the road from the window ledge. The car was driving past the restaurant. She stopped. He said, “Well.”
Her breath hitched. She could feel his fingers on her waist. “Can I touch you?” He said. She said, “Sure.”
He looked straight into her eyes. They were blue in the face. They seemed to be staring into the abyss. “How do you feel?” he said. “I don’t know. Do you know?” She said, “You have some problem.”
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